


Sleep

by bellamie_blake



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, Episode: s07e09 As I Have Always Been, F/M, Fluff, Grief/Mourning, Holding Hands, Second Kiss, Sweet, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, post 7x09, spoilers for 7x09, why did i write this at 3am instead of sleeping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:32:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25524433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellamie_blake/pseuds/bellamie_blake
Summary: Daisy can't sleep after the time storm. And she and Daniel need to have a conversation.
Relationships: Skye | Daisy Johnson/Daniel Sousa
Comments: 25
Kudos: 238





	Sleep

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a tiny fic and I don't know what happened. A lot of it is very sad and some of it is very sickeningly sweet. I guess I have a lot of FEELINGS AFTER THIS EPISODE. Marvel can pry Daisy+Sousa from my cold dead hands, that's for sure. I love a good ship and this one is delicious.
> 
> Thanks for reading, I don't think I'm great at this but I felt compelled to write it and hopefully at least 2 or 3 people find it worth a few minutes of their time.

Daisy can’t sleep.

After everything, all the time loops, all the tragedy. Seeing her friends die. Knowing that she had died. Watching Jemma break down into tears after the implant was removed. 

Enoch…

Jemma asks her to take more time in the healing pod, but she refuses, and Jemma, bless her heart, seems to understand somehow that Daisy can’t do it. Can’t get back in there, after all those times waking up there, starting over again, desperate to find the answer to save them all. Even without experiencing the extent of the time loops herself, Jemma understands the toll it took on Daisy, and knows not to push.

Maybe she needs more time to heal. Maybe not. She feels strong enough. She tells herself that she is. One way or the other, she can’t force herself back in that tube.

She can’t sleep. 

The first night, after they’ve escaped the storm and they’re safe, and for once in a long time, seemingly not in imminent danger, she lays in her bunk and stares at the ceiling. Has to tell herself to blink now and again, because she just seems to forget to do that. Thoughts pounding through her head, going over every moment, knowing there was no other way they could’ve survived, but torturing herself by trying to figure one out, just the same. She can’t turn off her brain, can’t close her eyes, can’t drift off. She just lets the time pass, awake, unmoving.

A small part of her feels relief the longer and longer the night goes on, time unfurling as it should, one unrepeatable second after another, with no repetition, no resets. A small part of her was convinced she’d never feel that sensation again, and that part relaxes more and more.

She still can’t sleep.

_ Fitz...he doesn’t even know. His best friend... _

_ But we would all be gone...worse than gone...without his sacrifice. _

It still hurts, will always hurt.

The next day, the team doesn’t gather to make any big plans just yet. They are all recovering from the experience. Even though most of them don’t remember all but the final loop, they all feel the tragic loss of their teammate, and they all know how close they came to destruction. Deke spends time trying to figure out their next move, next destination. May, Yo Yo and Mack work on making sure the ship is safe and functional. Jemma and Coulson seem to be debriefing about what happened during all the loops - Jemma insisting on knowing all the details Coulson can remember, and he remembers all of it, from start to finish. 

Daisy reclines in the lounge area of the ship, and no one bothers her. She thinks she might doze a little bit, but it’s not a restful sleep, and doesn’t last long. Her mind keeps bringing her back to wakefulness. She wonders if her mind is too afraid to sleep, too afraid to open her eyes up to find herself back in the pod, back at the start of it all. 

She doesn’t see Daniel, he’s not in the room with her, not watching over her as he did when she was in the pod. She’s not exactly sure where he is, but that’s okay for the moment. She’s not ready to talk to him, not just yet, and somehow she suspects he knows that and is giving her the space she needs. Because he always seems to know how to help, even when she doesn’t or can’t ask for it. And she hasn’t forgotten what he said in the loops, things he’ll never remember saying, but she always will.

As the day goes on, she feels a bit more like herself, a bit more on solid ground. The pain of loss hasn’t lessened, but she feels herself coming back to reality, to stability, and the panicking part of her seems to quiet down entirely.

That night, she lays down in her bunk, and then immediately sits up. Despite feeling better, she knows she still can’t sleep. It’s fine, no big deal. Her body will rest when it’s ready to. But tonight she can’t stare at the ceiling, and even with the pain of loss, she doesn’t feel like crying now.

She walks through the ship, just appreciating the beauty of it all and the fact that it’s still there, that she’s still there, that they all are...mostly. She winds her way through the rooms, quietly, not wanting to disturb anyone. Eventually she finds herself at the door to the lounge, and is surprised to see Daniel sitting inside, reading. She smiles to herself before tapping lightly on the doorframe.

“Hey,” he says softly as he sees her.

“Can I come in?”

“Of course.” He closes the book and sets it down as she moves over towards the couch he’s sitting on. She sits down on the same couch, sideways, facing him. She is not right next to him, but not too far away either, a bit more than arm's length away. He turns so that he’s facing her, so they are facing each other, but he doesn’t move closer, respecting her need for space. Always respectful. 

“How are you doing?” he asks, his voice concerned, but not pitying. 

“I’m hanging in there. Going through an unknown number of time loops was certainly...stressful, I guess would be an understatement,” she says with a little laugh.

“I would say so. I’m sorry you had to experience that. Must’ve been tough, knowing you were our only hope. But I’m not surprised you made it through, found the answers. Had the strength to save the day.” His words are genuine. She nods, holds his eyes for a moment longer, and then looks away, thinking about how exactly to start this conversation.

She takes a deep breath, and then clears her throat before looking back at him. “Daniel, I want to be....honest with you,” she begins.

His brows furrow a bit at that, uncertain of where this is coming from or where it is going. “Well, I would always appreciate that. Even if the truth isn’t pretty, I prefer it, no matter what,” he says softly.

“Yeah. So, here goes. During the time loops, at least the part that I remember, we...you and I had a conversation. And I just wouldn’t feel right without you knowing what you said to me. Would feel like I had violated your privacy a bit, if that makes sense.”

He took that in, a thoughtful look on his face. “And what did I say?”

And she explains what he had said to her, about her being the type to run at a problem even if it meant she eventually ran headfirst into a wall, and how he wanted to be there to pick her up when she needed it. She tries to repeat it word for word, but she knows she paraphrases a little bit. But she recites the last part for him perfectly, grateful that this sentiment was etched in her mind. He deserved to know that she knew these thoughts of his.

“...and you said, ‘It helps if they’re fun to be around and if they say what they mean and if they have that superpower where they can rock things around, which is very impressive,’” she finishes, unable to stop a tiny smile from crossing her lips as she says it.

He listens to it all, face softening as she speaks, one side of his mouth tugging upwards just slightly in a smile. He leans forward just a bit. “And what did you say to that?”

“I said, that description was very specific...and that was the end of the conversation, and of course you didn’t remember it after the reset.”

He lets out a little chuckle and looks away before looking back at her and replying, “Well, I may not remember saying those things, but I can certainly tell you that all of that is something I would say, and very much the truth of what I think. And I do very much appreciate you telling me.” 

Daisy nods, hesitates for just a moment. Then she slides a little closer to him on the couch, still a few inches away, their bodies not yet touching, but now she can feel his warmth. She reaches out and touches his hand softly, and he lets out a small breath as he turns his palm over and interlaces their fingers together easily. The simple touch makes her skin tingle, sends sparks through her body, and she savors the feeling.

“One more thing happened, in a different loop,” she says softly, and looks up at him, meeting his eyes for a moment before looking back down at their hands, intertwined as he rubs his thumb over her skin, still feeling ridiculously nice even for such an innocent and minimal amount of contact. He doesn’t prod her to continue, but waits, letting her explain at her own pace.

“I...kissed you,” she says, hearing his breath hitch just a tiny amount at the words. “And you kissed me back. And it was...very nice.” She looks up again to meet his gaze, this time not looking away. Her heart seems to skip a beat or two as she sees the same look in those eyes as she had seen after that kiss - amazement, adoration, appreciation, desire. The look of someone seeing her, and wanting her for all that she is.

He takes a steadying breath and lightly brushes the hair out of her eyes with his free hand, tracing her jaw gently with one finger. “Well, if you would like, it would make me very happy if we would both be able to remember that experience,” he says softly, his hand moving to cup the back of her neck gently, but making no move further than that. Waiting for her response, letting her make the choice.

Daisy feels no hesitation, no fear, no regret as she leans up and kisses him, her free hand coming up to clutch at his shirt collar. His hand on the back of her neck grips her more firmly as he kisses her back soundly, and it feels just as nice and good as the first time, but also infinitely more so. She lets go of his hand to bring her other hand to his broad shoulder, and she feels his now free arm wind around her waist and he pulls her a little closer, caressing her back as they kiss.

Finally they part, pulling back a little and leaning their foreheads together as they catch their breath. Daniel rubs the back of her neck gently and says, “I definitely won’t be forgetting that.”

Surprised, she lets out a laugh, and he chuckles with her, leaning up to kiss her forehead. “Yes, that was very, very nice,” she replies, smiling at her own reference to the memory of their first kiss, the kiss lost to time. She would always remember it, even if he couldn’t. And this moment was theirs to both remember together.

Turning her head and body a bit, Daisy moves closer to him so she is nestled into his side, and he follows the movement by wrapping his arm around her. She leans her head on his shoulder and takes his hand in her own once more. He squeezes her hand and kisses the top of her head lightly, and leans back against the couch cushions with her just a bit, so they are reclining a little and not sitting fully upright. It’s not the most comfortable position, but she doesn’t complain, and neither does he, and they lay like that for a little while.

\--

The next morning, Daisy wakes in her quarters, under her blanket and feeling very rested but a bit disoriented. She doesn’t remember going to bed...as her mind clears from sleep, she recalls the events of the night before, and realizes the last thing she remembers is resting in Daniel’s arms on the couch.  _ Wow...he must’ve brought me to my bed, _ she thinks to herself, picturing him carrying her asleep in his arms and tucking her into bed. She can’t help a goofy grin spreading on her face for a moment before she sits up and stretches. As she does so, she notices a little note on the nightstand. In a neat script, it reads, “Thank you for your honesty. Good night.” And along with the words is a surprisingly well-done drawing of a small daisy.


End file.
